In this autoethnographic essay, I revisit memories from past experiences with my father in order to find new meanings that may have escaped me in the moments when we were together. These moments are times when I avoided connection with my father or when connection somehow avoided me. In an attempt to rebuild our relationship and prepare myself to be a better parent, I reframe our stories and question my creation of a fathering identity that rejects the father-son relationship I experienced. Finally, I try to reflexively look back on experiences with my father in order to heal and move forward in connecting with him.
Dealy, Matthew R.
"Avoided Connections: Reflections on a Father, as a Son; and on Fathering, as a Father,"
Kaleidoscope: A Graduate Journal of Qualitative Communication Research:
Vol. 13, Article 3.
Available at: http://opensiuc.lib.siu.edu/kaleidoscope/vol13/iss1/3